Dear One and Only Next-Door Neighbour,
If you hear me seemingly talking to myself early in the mornings,
don't be alarmed, I'm just talking to my succulent babies because I
heard that they will grow better if you talk to them. 
Also, if I talk in exaggerated tones to them, don't think I've gone
cuckoo... I'm just mimicking the way my colleagues talk to patients
in that fake, super-high-pitched voice, that forever sunshine,
sugar-double-coated voice.
Sorry, but that's how I keep my sanity in this fakey-pukey world
where everyone's called "Darl" (short for 'Darling'), Blossoms,
Sweetie, Sunshine, or whatever psychedelic, saccharin-drippin' name
you can think of.
I'm just trying to take a step back and keep my wits about me in
this super-sincere world, that's all.
Yours very truly, Lovie-Dovey Bunkins,
*cough *splutter *almost chokes to death,
Rhonda
